The Future of Brink-Blogging

This is a quick test to see if this whole mobile blogging deal works.
If it does I'll be posting from the bathroom in no time! Here goes...

Update: It works. The thumbs up in the picture is that of satisfaction of a job well done. The picture was taken on my IPhone in my office and sent with the original post.

This whole mobile posting deal could be bad news...

T-Minus Any Minute

I imagine I will pick up the pace on these entries. There hasn't been too much to write about recently. All has been going great with Ally and baby. That doesn't make for a very interesting read I wouldn't think. Also, I have played like 40 hours of GTAIV as well as finally playing Portal (and LOVING IT). So between the mundane lack of details and being otherwise occupied with work research, I haven't updated in like 4 months.

That will change. Furthermore, expect to see exciting multimedia elements added in the form of "videos" and "pictures". We have more contraptions for capturing the baby in action (or sleep) that you can shake a stick at (Ben pauses to pantomime "shaking a stick") and plan on keeping everyone up to speed on every boring and mindless detail that we will no doubt find utterly facinating and amazing like millions of parents before us: "Look at the poopie diaper! It's amazing! My kid makes the best smelling poopies ever!" Ugh. I will become that guy and Ally that woman. Good times. That also might have been one of the longer sentences ever typed. Looking that up now.

So, Ally is officially on maternity leave and has been for a week now. I thought for some reason that once she went on mat leave (that's what the cool kids call it) she would get bored quickly and decide to have the kid. Turns out I was wrong and that's not in fact how the miracle of birth goes down at all.

Turns out the kid comes out when HE is ready. I for one and hoping for a Friday around noon start to "go to the hospital" labor. What you are about to read if incredibly selfish but the way I look at it, this is my last chance to be truly selfish. Anyway, Ally needs to go to the hospital Friday around noon. I will leave from work and meet here there, thus not taking a full day off work. Baby is born anytime there after, hopefully shortly thereafter. Now here is where the idea really takes off. I will take the following week off work, AS WELL AS the following Monday. Why, you ask? Because July 4 is a holiday not counting against my week long paternity leave. SO, in short if baby arrives this Fridayish I get 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, yes 10 full days off work and 1 half day.

I mean, this baby is coming one way or another, why not have him help his dad (and mom for that matter cause more days off work means more help for mom) this one time?

There is a second scenario, albeit not as beneficial to Ally. In this scenario the baby is born Monday. Why you ask? So we (including Ally here) can have one more weekend to ourselves we can spend playing video games and generally lounging around. I am not sure what Ally would do all weekend. Really her call.

This is how my mind works. Scary. All told the baby isn't coming any later than Monday since we have an appointment at 7am to get him out once and for all.

We made a short list of names for the little dude. Both Ally and my initial choice are out of play due to the fact we couldn't agree. We went back to the drawing board and came up with 3 solid choices. We will meet him prior to deciding on the final name.

Stewie 2 (The "One and Only" Stewie seen at left with sleeping Mommy) is not in the running.

Anyway, Ally is ready (see above...my thumb adds to the experience I think). I am ready. Now baby needs to get ready. Any day now...

In closing, I wrote this at work so there are probably 1000 grammar mistakes and other things I will have to go back and edit later. Keep thinking good thoughts!

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days!

Well, Ally has officially outgrown her clothes. I continue to tell her she's not fat, but instead carrying a living person, our child, inside her and that if she didn't gain weight we'd have issues. We've agreed to disagree.

First things first, Ally got an IPhone and all the pictures we took for this bad boy are from that phone. I gotta tell you I am a little jealous. The phone is awesome. I can't believe I didn't buy Apple stock before the IPod...if I had this entire post might have been moot. Keep reading and you'll see what I mean.

Anyway, i took numerous pictures in Gap Maternity and caught a few sideways glances from over protective parents (something I am soon to be) who thought I was a taking picture of their kids and pregnant ladies who thought me a perv. Rest assured I was merely chronicling the times as they are a changin' and keeping records for future reference. I think it would be kinda cool to have little Stewie 2 (yes, that's what we are calling him right now, Stewie 2, or Stewie Too, after our lovely and obedient dog) look at pictures and read what his parents were experiencing as he was "in the oven". In case you were wondering, Ben Jr. didn't really take. I tried, but we went with Stewie 2. It really confuses the hell out of the dog which is an added bonus.

Here is how the trip to the mall began. Ally threw me a bone and allowed me to get a pair of shoes at the Foot Locker and browse at the Apple store, before we fell into the Gap. Allow me to preface it with a simple fact: I suggested we go to Goodwill/Salvation Army or similar store, buy some cheap stuff, then sew elastic into the waist to make them fit. Those of you who know Ally know that wasn't going to fly and sure enough it didn't. What can I say, I am cheap. I also like gadgets though which tend to be pricey. Therein lies the dichotomy of Ben. But we'll save that for another post. Note to self: The Dichotomy of Ben is a good name for my memoir...now I just need to do something interesting to merit a memoir.

Anyhoo, Ally took to Gap Maternity like a fish to water. She was trying on just about everything she could get her hands on. It was at this point that something Ally has been saying over and over for the last week plus finally hit home. Her clothes not fitting are not a problem on the fashion side of things, but a problem on the "I am uncomfortable all day long until I get home and throw on my sweat pants" side of things. These clothes have more spandex than a Richard Simmons workout video. It's amazing. She was so happy that she had clothes that fit AND an added bonus is they are somewhat stylish as well. However, they are not cheap.



This brings me back to my "Used Clothes" idea. I would venture a guess that we could have bought a sewing machine for less money than we spent at Gap this fine day. I would have learned how to sew and made Ally tons of maternity clothes on the cheap! That dream is over.

Oh, I also got chewed out by the clerk lady at the store for taking a picture of the total price of our shopping trip. It went a little something like this:

Obnoxious Lady: Did you just take a picture of the total
Obnoxious Ben: Yes, I am documenting all the splendor of fatherhood...including how much it costs to buy clothes she's only going to wear for 5 months.
Obnoxious Lady: Well she will probably wear them after she has the kid for a while too. She can do what she wants
Obnoxious Ben: You don't know her. These clothes are getting boxed up as soon as she gives birth. She will probably send me home to box them up after the baby is born.
Obnoxious Lady: Rolls, eyes. Looks disapprovingly at Ally. You know you should come back and see if any of these clothes have gone on sale and we will refund the difference.
Obnoxious Ben: Fist pump

Look, I understand this is just the beginning. I know baby's, like wives, ain't cheap (I KID ALLY! I KID!). I get it. But I need to get used to ALL THIS STUFF. We were flipping through channels today and somehow ended up on some show on VH1 with Scot Baio, Chachi of Happy Days fame. He too is having a kid and was at some kind of "Becoming a Father Class". On a side note, do I need to go to class to learn about how to become a dad? I am going to play that by ear. Anyway, they were going through all the different expenses that one incurs upon having a kid. It was overwhelming for both Chachi and I.

I am quickly coming to the realization that Stewie 2 is number 1. He always will be. I can't wait for that.

All that said, how old do you have to have to be to get a job? Anybody know any agents who cast babies for commercials?

All in all, it was a great trip. Ally has clothes she will be comfortable in. I learned not to make snarky comments to bitter Gap sales clerks. But my biggest take away from our trip was that I really don't care how much this is all going to cost because when it's all said and done I am going to have a son who I will probably spoil rotten at least until he can get a job to spoil himself and ideally something we can gravy train off (seriously, we need an agent for the kid). In all seriousness, child actors get a bad rap...just ask Chachi. He turned out GREAT and has his own reality show on VH1 to prove it!

Our Trip to the Doctor

Today was the day we were to find out if our baby was sporting "frank and beans" or a "vajayjay". In case you don't know me very well you should understand I am not going to be speaking in clinical terms here. Slang and off-color lingo only on this site. If you are easily offended, tough.

These appointments in general are pretty stressful. Right now we are 3 weeks between appointments with our doctors so for those 3 weeks we freak out any time anything is out of the ordinary. Ally eats cheese, gets a stomach ache, freak out. Ally is tired, freak out. Ally has a head ache, freak out. You see where I am going with this. We freak out a lot because this whole "having a kid thing" is new to us.

And don't get me started on the internet or pregnancy books. These make me crazy. For example, type in "cramps: lower stomach". The search returns are veritable cornucopia of stories from "real people" who at one time or another while they were pregnant had cramps in their lower stomach. In Ally's case, it was the baby growing. And the books are worse. I think the only thing I've learned is that everybody is different.

As I was saying before I lost track, these appointments are stressful because it's been 3 weeks with no feedback, no doctor telling us things look good. That drives people like Ally and me (control freaks? maybe?) up the wall. Ally is going all Tom Cruise and wants to buy an ultrasound machine. When she calms down she settles on stealing a stethoscope from her Grandmas place in Ojai. The thing is, there are times during those 3 weeks where I don't think either of those are bad ideas.

Today was especially stressful because we decided we were tired of calling the baby "IT" and wanted to know what "IT" was. When we started out Ally didn't want to know but over time I wore her down and she agreed to find out. We don't like surprises.

So here's how it went down, and it didn't take long. Ally told the nurse we wanted to know and within 3 seconds of touching the ultra sound to her pooch (Ally loves it when I call it pooch...it's not a belly yet...too small) the baby appeared. IT (still IT at this point) appeared to be sitting back with his legs spread and his junk hanging out for all to see. There he was, OUR SON.

Here's the first look.....

Quite a day. Quite an appointment. Quite a package. Today I am a proud dad. It's the first of what I expect to be many proud moments in fatherhood.

Don't Call It a Comeback...

Well, it's been about 1.5 years since I've graced this page. 1.5 years since i've been at my current job. Coincidence? Absolutely not. My job has absolutely monopolized my time for the past 1.5 years.

1.5 years isn't that long, but it really is. What happens in 1.5 years. One only need look as far back as this specific blog to see. Let's catch up on where the subjects of some of my previous blogs are today:

• This "pundit" thought UofA forward and prodigy Marcus Williams was going to set the world on fire during the 2006-2007 season. What happened? He turned out to be a fraud who left school early and is now playing in Kazakhstan (HIGH FIVE!). Good bye.
• What About Brian. I had high hopes for this show. I lost interest quickly when they put it on at the same...time...as...Horatio...*lower sunglasses*...Caine.
• Tom Cruise - Still crazy and I still don't care about his kid or Stepford Wife. Jerry O'Connell, awesome
  
• I still LOVE the TV.
  
• I still LOVE me some UofA hoops
• I just finished the second version of the MLB video game that I bagged on in previous entries. Good thing they didn't see those posts before they hired me...actually, that might not have been a bad thing.

So that's a brief overview. So, some things have changed but I am mostly the same. A little older. Somewhat wiser. Better dressed (thanks Ally). Sometimes bitter. Sometimes very happy (am I bi-polar like Britney?). Always interesting.

SO, you might be asking why the hell I would start blogging again. The reason is twofold:

1) I love to write. I love to take what is on my mind and after some heavy editing of profanity and objectionable content, letting other people read it. I just like to write.
2) Mine and Ally's life is about to change dramatically for the BETTER. We have a son on the way in a few months (June to be exact) and I feel like other folks *could* want to know what's going on in our lives. My cousins Josh and Erin do a GREAT job keeping family up to date on their adventure in the Northwest and their beautiful daughter Abigail. I thought, "hey, this is interesting stuff. Maybe my family might be interested in what we're doing?!?!" This is VERY exciting news.

Anyway, this won't be limited to baby talk, though me thinks there will be a fair amount of that. I will continue to go off on tangenets, rants, sidebars, Non Sequiturs, rants, rants and more rants. I am what I am.

Without further ado, I'm back and I hope you enjoy or at least aren't offended. I can't promise you will or won't be either. That didn't make sense. I'm done now.

Smart Kid

Yesterday, UA freshman forward Marcus Williams decided to stay in school, rather than declare for the NBA Draft.

Now I will keep this short so I don't add fuel to Allyson's claims that I am obsessed with UA hoops (I am). I have been totally impressed with Williams all year long both on the court and in dealing with the media. This kid is as smart as he is skilled on the court. I can't remember a player who showed improvement on almost a game by game basis. Coach O has stated over and over that nobody he's coached has improved as much from the start of the season to the end. Think about that for a second while remembering some of the players who have gone through the hallowed halls of McKale center.

Editor's Note: Marcus had the best freshman year I can remember next to Bibby. Bibby is in a class of his own. He didn't improve because he was always the best. He and Miles Simon led us to the title. Nuff said.

Jason Gardner had a pretty good rookie season but he was also surrounded by some pretty decent players. Marcus wasn't. Let's look back the the 2000 Arizona Wildcats who inexplicably lost to Wisconsin in the 2nd round before going all the way to the finals in 2001 before being robbed of their 2nd NCAA title by Dook and the officials:

PG - Jason Gardner (Overseas)
SG - Gilbert Arenas (Wizards superstar)
SF - Richard Jefferson (Nets s superstar)
PF - Mike Wright (Overseas)
C - Loren Woods (Raptors starter)

Bench - Luke Walton (Lakers starter)

I digress...

Deciding to stay another year and to continue to learn from the best coach in college basketball at getting players ready for the NBA is a smart move to say the least. Not only with this make the UA better (exponentially) but it will make him better and will earn him a lot more money in the long run.

Even if Marcus Williams stays only one more year, which is pretty darn likely, I believe he will be remembered for a long time around UA basketball. He's a special kid and we are lucky to have him. He's going to have a big year because it's HIS team this year.

Yesterday was a good day for UA hoops in an off season that has thusfar been filled with bad news.

It Goes On and On

It's not that i've forgotten about my blog, it's just that I really haven't had a lot to say recently. That Cruise post took a lot out of me. Anyway, i'll give it a go:

• Adam will lose this week in Fantasy Baseball to yours truly.
  
• I have the largest satellite dish known to man. It's so big it's almost comical.
• Since I work on an NBA game I probably should care about the NBA playoffs...I don't. At all.
• Did I mention I got a new satellite?
• I don't care what Keith Hernandez said about the Padres massage therapist. I care even less now that instead of taking the high road, she decided to comment to Sports Illustrated. Who cares? Does anybody? Is NOW going to start boycotting Mets games because Hernandez is their annoucer? Let's face it; Hernandez is a jackass. This is not up for debate. Let's move on now.
• The A's need to start winning.
  
• I am SO mad we haven't gone to Whistler before this past weekend. What an amazingly beautiful place.
• A new episode of "What about Brian?" is airing on ABC at 10p tonight if you want to tune in an see if my review was accurate, or if I am just "hatin". I may tune in to see for myself...
• What are reviewers saying about the "exclusive" Major League Baseball video game for the XBOX360? See for yourself by clicking here...
• My brother is cheap...pay special attention to the part about parking...
• I got a speeding ticket on my way back from Dodge Ridge listening to this CD It's a CLASSIC...A singer in a smokey room. A smell of wine and cheap perfume. For a smile they can share the night. It goes on and on and on and on...
• In closing...the human brain is a funny thing...

I am coming up with so new topics. Still need to has some things out and make sense of them before posting. Stay tuned...

Baby Cruise and a Few Other Opinions

Editors Note: My first semi-political social commentary...Proceed with caution

I heard on the radio this morning that an "exclusive" picture of Cruise and Holmes baby is fetching upwards of 1/2 a million bucks from such bastions of media like the Enquirer an the Star. That brought up a few questions:

1) How long before Cruise and his brain-washed bride settle with one of the books, guessing People, to allow them to take the exclusive pictures? I know this isn't unprecedented since most celebrity couples sell their wedding pictures to the highest bidder. Why not sell baby pictures and, here's an idea, give the money to CHARITY! Talk about a positive PR story. Will it happen? Who knows. Think of the ramifications. All of the world is waiting to see the pictures of baby Surrey (named after the border town in Canada?) so why not deliver pictures of baby, mom and dad with a little story. When the story comes out L Ron Hubbard, or whoever is doing PR for the couple, sends out a release saying all proceeds from sales of the pictures go to the "Ronald McDonald House" in Calabasas or whatever. Then all the celebrity worshipping drones may be empowered to throw some love to the McDonald's charity "cause Tom and Katie did it" and everybody wins! In a perfect world. This is not a perfect world as you will see...

2) When does Mission Impossible 3 come out? May 5. I bet they are pissed at Katie for popping that baby out about two weeks too early. If only they could create the synergy of a movie AND baby release day and date. WOW! But, 2 weeks isn't bad. That's not too far out to start the pre-buzz. I saw the first commercial last night during Alias. Come to think of it things are lining up nicely to have the buzz ready a crecendo by May 5. If I were a betting man I would put money on the fact that the baby pictures will arrive about 1 week prior to the street date for MI3. That will be followed shortly by a 1 hour Barbara Walters special at the Cruise Compound with Tom, Katie and baby Surrey. That will be Wednesday May 3, two days before you can visit your local Googleplex to see the movie.

3) It's sad what happened to Katie Holmes.

4) All that said, WHO THE F CARES! I mean seriously! It's a sad commentary on society when the two biggest stories of the day are this baby (don't' forget Brooke Shields new baby) and American Idol results. I guess all the worlds problems have been solved so we can focus on lighter fare. Wait, that's not true. The truth is things are so bad that all people want is to escape from the "war" in Iraq, the potential war in Iran, China (Aren't they still oppressive communists? Don't we as Americans despise communism? Hu was at the White House. When is Castro coming to the White House since we are all about embracing communists now. Wait, we don't owe billions of dollars to Cuba.) so the news focuses on non-threatening items such as these. The news media is a joke owned by corporate America and the White House. That's topic for another day when I have more time and am feeling more feisty. I am getting off topic now.

My point is this. It's a sad commentary on society that we care more about irrelevant minutiae than events happening that affect our day to day live and the future of society. What is the world going to be like for our kids? I don't know but I do know that Ace got booted from Idol, celebrities are having babies, Paris Hilton is a no-talent trollop and Katie Couric is going to CBS to anchor the evening news (one more topic for another day). Keep this in mind; Cruise baby is not the second coming of Christ, at least not in my religion.

I feel better now...

Upon Further Review: A Second Chance for Brian

So, I thought I would watch episode two in order to see if they were able to right any of the issues with the first one. Let me be honest; I really wanted to like this show. I really did. I watched the second show with much lower expectations. Episode 2 didn't even meet my lessened expectations. It was more of the same. Let's go bullet points for this one:

• The philandering wife is going to be a recurring and annoying theme. Here is what gets me. That dude, her husband, is the luckiest man alive that it only took her 13 years to decide to go outside the marriage for lovin. Look at her. Then look at him. I think i've made my point.
• It's really hard to feel sorry for Brian. He "hooked up" with 2 different girls last night yet at the end of the episode he was all sad in bed with his mangy dog and chinese food. Come on man. Find some new friends who aren't married and suddenly your life won't seem so incomplete. SINGLE FRIENDS BRIAN!
• The dialogue tries WAY too hard to be smart and witty and is successful at neither.
• The great music from the first show was replaced by a bunch of no-name soft rock in episode 2. I am guessing they blew their music budget getting those big name songs for the first show to wow guys like me. Either way, I should have seen it coming.
  
• They can't call Brian's lady suitors by their name. Always has to be descriptive word "girl". Like "Car Girl" from the first episode 1 and "Bathroom Girl" from episode 2. Try harder.
• The recurring, "I love my best friend's girl" theme is lame and done to death. Further proof Brian needs new friends. Stop hanging out with the girl you are in love with and her fiancee who happens to be your best friend.
• The Rosanna Arquette character feels out of place. She's also kinda freaky looking.
  

In closing, it's hard to feel sorry for this Brian. It's really hard to feel anything for Brian other than anger because he is a bit of a tool who needs to understand hanging out with married people as a perpetual single guy is a nasty hang. Don't do it. Yet, they've made an entire show out of this concept. I can't imagine people will keep tuning in. I know I won't as much as I really want to... Maybe I am no better than Brian. I know I shouldn't want to watch, much like Brian shouldn't want his best friend's girl, but I keep coming back for more. Maybe, like Brian, I am a gultton for punishment. Interesting.

Brian Sucks!: A Probing Look at the New ABC Dramedy "What About Brian?"

As if we (Allyson and I) don't have enough hour long programs on our docket along comes another at a time where I want nothing more than to turn off the TV and read a book.

Take a step back and view that statement again. It isn't what it seems. I still love you TV but am having difficulty watching anything other than HD broadcasts. Adam warned me this would happen. I watched HD women's tennis yesterday for like an hour. My theory is "if it isn't HD, it isn't worth watching". Well, I found something in HD that isn't worth watching.

This brings us to the HD broadcast of What about Brian?. I will say I was initially curious about a show that is about 30-somethings being one myself. It's always interesting to see how Hollywood deciphers things that either myself or friends of mine has gone through. I like TV that way.

Brian started off well enough. The cast was a who's who of people that make you say "where have a I seem him/her before". That first ten minutes was spent trying to figure that out (Band of Brothers, Legally Blonde, 7th Heaven, Saved by the Bell: The New Class, Felicity, etc...).

Once that was all said and done I settled in to see if the "creators of Lost" could strike gold again. After all, they did Felicity which in my opinion was a fantastic show and of course Lost which even though I hate it keeps me coming back week after week.

It didn't take long for it to hit me. Felicity this is not. Lost this is not. The dialogue tries it's best to channel Gilmore Girls meets Felicity meets any Cameron Crowe film but what ends up happening is that the point gets lost through all the meaningless banter. Kinda like what happens on this Blog some times. Anyway, with the Gilmore Girls the banter is unrealistic (who talks that way!) but it's smart, witty, funny and often times arcane to the point where it hits you 10 minutes later. That's good writing! With this show it's annoying. (Will address "Car Girl" later, but "Trishing" is another beaut they came up with. Wont even get into that but every time they said "Trishing" I felt vomit creeping up my throat.)

Now to the plot. The "creators of Lost" (Ally thinks this creator is like the production assistant on Lost, not an actual creator) redefined how a story is told. They took the flashback approach here as well, though not sure it's going to be a frequent thing or just for the first episode. With Brian, early in the show we are treated to some scenes that bring us up to speed on why Brian is such a sad sack. Here's the short of it:

Brian is a good looking, smart person who makes video games for a living (cough*ME*cough) but unlike me he can't find a decent girl (I have a decent girl). He is forced to date a girl he rear ended (not that way) while checking out ANOTHER girl. This girl is dubbed "Car Girl". This is lame. Car Girl? Ugh. The problem with Car Girl is that even though he dumps her she takes up in his apartment and won't leave. LAME.

Speaking of LAME. The writers use answering machines on this show to move the story along. Aside from my mother (sorry Mom) who uses answering machines! On top of that the people who use them are tech savvy people who should have voice mail: 1 dude who drives a 5-series BMW and the other the owner of a video game company. Dudes, spend the extra $5 a month and get voice mail. Then of course the writers would lose this handy way to introduce conflict. I feel better getting that off my chest. It's very lame and very lazy. One more thing, Brian leaves a message on his buddies answering machine with sensitive information that his live-in fiancee (more on her later) shouldn't hear...look at that again and think about it for a second. Exactly.

Anyway, we soon find out Brian is in love with his best friend's girl and she didn't used to be his (get it?). Once we know he's in love with his best friend's girls, name of Marjorie, the show begins to slip away. Where do you go from here? It's the first episode and the cards are on the table. I have a prediction: this situation will continue to rear it's ugly head the entire first season until it's been beaten to death. I mean they can't get together or they would have to change the name of the show to "Brian's Scored His Best Friend's Girls, THAT'S Brian is about!"

There are other issues I won't get into such as filandering wives, Rosanna Arquette, some Italian dude, 3 kids and who can forget Brian's dull best friend. This dude is a stiff. I wouldn't be surprised if he was "Chuck Cunningham-med" off the show. Chuck of course was the brother who appeared in the first season of Happy Days and was never to be heard of again. Chuck was a reference you might have found on Brian. Totally lame.

Long story shortish. Even in HD this show sucks. The cast is pretty, the music is awesome (Tom Petty, U2, The Who, Snow Patrol, etc...) but this show can't be saved from it's self, limited story line, cliched dialogue and pretty but weak characters. Yes, it's only 1 episode, but how long can we go on with this dude who seemingly has everything but the love of a woman. Nay the love of ONE woman.

Oh and if I wasn't clear earlier the other characters aren't that interesting. I could go on about that too but it's not worth it.

I didn't like this show. Other reviews have compared it to Thirtysomething. I don't see that because Thirtysomething won awards. Profound? No, but it's my opinion and we all know I am never wrong.

Editors Note: The girl in the picture above wearing the green tank top isn't even on the show! It's another girl all together. Brilliant.

My Life-Long Friend and Downfall - The Idiot Box Part 2

(Part 2 in a 4 Part Series)

Event 2

A few years later my parents "splurged" and got the fancy remote control to go along with it. Up to this point they apparently believed that not having a remote would lead me to be more active since I had to get up and change the channel. HA. Anyway, this remote allowed me to change the channel without actually leaving the couch! What a breakthrough!! Plus, I could go flip back and forth between the last two channels I watched. BRILLIANT!

However, the remote had it's negatives as well. Sometimes, during commercials, I would get up and do things (pee, sit on my brother's arms and "thorp" him in the head, homework?) and misplace the remote. This was often a dicey proposition and included me freaking out until I eventually found it, usually in my pocket, in the bathroom, or lodged between the couch cushsions. This is a problem I have carried with me to this day, especially the couch cushion one.

April 4, 2006

So I am going to start this up again after a week away.

I want to warn all that I will probably not proofread or go back to make any alterations as I am short on time. The reason I was away was that I was in California with my family attending my grandfather's funeral. It was as good as it could have been (given the circumstances) and a fitting farewell for a man who was loved by so many. Anyway, in the last 3 sentences i've decided that instead of droning on and on myself I would include the awesome eulogy my mom wrote and myself and my brother had the pleasure of reading at the service. I think it sums things up better than I ever could. I will miss you "Old Buddy, Old Pal of Mine"...

Victor J Mazzeo -- December 16, 1922 - April 4, 2006

On behalf of Mom and our entire family, please know how deeply we appreciate your presence here today. This is one of those occasions that we all hope never takes place, but we take great comfort being surrounded by the love and prayers of so many people! We hope to have the opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your love and support of both Dad and Mom over the years.

But before we bid Dad a final farewell, it is important to us to share his story with you. Many of you could add even more details and wonderful stories to what we say; and most of them, I am sure, would make bring a smile or even a big laugh out loud. We hope you’ll share them with us before the day is over.

You know that Dad has always been deeply private and tended to shy away from crowds. Whatever the occasion—even if it was a party in his honor, Dad would find a cozy spot with Mom in a corner so that he could look on and continue to enjoy what was being served—especially if it was Aunt Yolly’s potato salad or her melt in your mouth cheesecake. So as not to make Dad unhappy with us today, we will briefly share a bit about the man we pay tribute to today.

Those that knew dad while he was growing up knew him as Aldo—a name he never liked but hung onto for most of his young adulthood because my grandmother—a devout reader of those sleazy detective magazines—dubbed him with it because Aldo was the name of a hero in one of her stories. Dad was a first generation American, the middle son of Anthony—a furniture maker in upscale New Rochelle NY—and Rose, a seamstress. He grew up in Rye, NY, attended Catholic elementary school and fought the battles of the minorities—the Italians and Irish against the rest of the world. He told me that he would beg his mother not to make his lunch on homemade bread. Couldn’t she please buy some Wonder Bread so that he could have a normal lunch like all of the other kids?

Before his 18^th birthday, Dad lied about his age, enlisted in the army and then went home to tell his parents what he had done. The time that Dad spent in the military and Officer’s Candidate School were his proudest moments; he would be thrilled to see how he was being honored for his service today. After enlisting, Dad attended Kent State University and this is where the great Love Story begins. Dad and some college friends decided to attend a Valentine Day dance in nearby Akron. There he spotted a beautiful, young, dark-haired nursing student who was so tired from school and work that she sat alone in the lobby. Dad sat down to speak with her and the rest is history. They corresponded daily while he was in college and after a long-distance courtship, they married in 1949.

Life moved quickly for the young married couple—Army life, a baby girl, a move from New York to Akron, Ohio, a career as a car salesman and then health issues that I developed that prompted them to sell their home and move west to Arizona. Can you even imagine more devoted parents that would give up everything they have for the sake of their daughter—that’s my mom and dad.!!! Thank God Uncle Lou talked them into coming to visit in Santa Barbara before settling in Phoenix. Dad’s dreams of opening a restaurant became Luigi’s on the beach in Santa Barbara, a devotion of the family’s time and energy. My cousins Phil and Adelle could tell some great stories about working with Dad at the restaurant!

Health problems became the story of dad’s life, but he was a fighter. With the devoted care of my mom/grandma, he enjoyed life after retirement in Cambria in a home they designed and had built. It was last year that, as a family, we decided how important it was to bring mom and dad to Gilroy—a decision that family and friends know was a very good one. Dad wasn’t happy at all about leaving his beautiful home—and he let everyone know he wasn’t happy—but came to make the best of it.

When we tell Dad’s story, we speak of a man with an incredible sense of humor, a personality that made everyone his new best friend, a devoted husband who was fiercely protective of his loving wife—a marriage of 57 years that found them still holding hands, still kissing each other when they left the room and still saying the words, “I love you.” Sometimes, it seemed too good to be true, but anyone who saw them together knew this was a very special couple.

Dad was a man of great faith—not a public display, but a very private man who knelt each night and prayed and sometimes took two hours to come to bed while he said his devotions at each statue in their home. We all know that the love of his life was my mom, but a close behind was his love of cars, good food and a good war movie. His grandsons were the greatest joy of his life—watching them grow, taking them driving (he was the BEST teacher1) and just hanging out with them. As Allyson and MaryAlice became part of our family, they shared how welcome Dad made them feel, part of the family right from the start. Frank and I were so thrilled that Dad and Mom enjoyed our wedding celebration this past December and Dad and Frank had become the best of buddies in no time.

Each of you here today has been touched by Dad in some way and we are so grateful that you are with us to celebrate this very special man. Dad left us on HIS terms—driving his car til the very end, eating out at the Longhouse whenever he wanted, terrorizing the grocery stores in his motorized cart and sharing every waking moment with mom. His greatest fear was suffering another debilitating stroke or in any way, not being able to enjoy life to its fullest. Our family takes great comfort in knowing that Dad will be with us always—he gave us so much to remember and showed us how precious every moment of life is. We love you “Darling”, “Dad”, “Grandpa”, Vic, Uncle Vic.

And when we need you, we will whisper your name in our heart. . .you will be there.

Tuesday Morning Random Thoughts

• UCLA cost me $190. A UCLA win and I finish second in the office pool. They lose, I lose. I have always hated UCLA. FUCLA.

• I stopped watching at 1/2 time, tuned into the A's game just in time to see A-Rod hit a "no-doubter" grand slam off Lady Hips.

• Barry "Lady Hips" Zito was awful yesterday. He is Mr. Bigglesworth to the Yankees Dr. Evil. He needs to figure that out because it's likely any road to the World Series goes through the Bronx. It was a painful performance not only as an A's fan but as a guy who has Zito on his fantasy team.

• Speaking of fantasy teams. Yesterday was one of my worst fantasy days on record. It's only day 1, but I am not optimistic.

• Speaking of optimism. Frank Thomas' first at bat yesterday was a thing of beauty. He took some borderline pitches that were balls because he's Frank Thomas (same pitches were called strikes to guys like Swisher) and then deposited a pitch into the left field stands that he was basically fooled on. Please let his health hold up!

• Speaking of health. Everyone is sick around here. Allyson is worried she is going to get sick. I haven't been sick since 1996. Not getting sick this year.

• Finally, another opening day, another Crosby injury.

• Changing gears a little bit since my mother asked this blog not revolve around sports. Allyson and I are hooked on Big Love the HBO series about a polygamist family in Utah. It's a guilty pleasure for sure. HBO always tackles issues others wont and turn out great product after great product. Big Love is well acted, well written and frankly a guilty pleasure providing a look at something you don't hear or read too much about: polygamy.

• Speaking of HBO, Deadwood and Entourage come back in a couple of months. Right as Big Love ends. I would pay $20 a month for HBO. Maybe $30.

• My life revolves around the television, doesn't it.

• Speaking of TV, new Scrubs tonight at 9p. Sorry Adam, but Scrubs is the funniest show on television. The Office is the funniest/most uncomfortable. Two different categories.

• Oh, as if the sports mishaps yesterday weren't enough, APPARENTLY somebody swiped Ally's credit card and made a bunch of charges in Kiev. When called by the bank fraud department they asked if Ally had been in Kiev. My response: "I don't think either of us know where Kiev is." Long story short, we are not on the hook for the $3000 they charged up at assorted clothing stores around the Kiev metropolitan area. Awesome. This was how our day started.
  

Opening Day

This may well be one of the shortest posts I ever make.

Today is Opening Day. I love opening day. Anything is possible.

More than anything I am overwhelmingly excited about the chances of the Oakland Athletics Baseball Club. A close second is the start of Fantasy Baseball. I always thought fantasy baseball was for nerds. Turns out I am a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge nerd. Third, I am very fired up for HD baseball on ESPN and ESPN2 HD! Finally, I look forward every year to seeing Barry Zito's lady hips. What a strange phenomenon they are.

Oh, and can we please not talk about steroids today? Please? Miller/Morgan/Gammons (God) talked about it ad naseum last night. Let's just talked about the players and the teams. Not Barry Bonds and what performance enhancer he used.

Finally, even if Frank Thomas doesn't play 100 games for the A's this year, if he can help the young guys develop into better hitters the signing will be a big win. Ask Nick Swisher.

Dominance

I predict right here, on my blog that nobody reads, the Bruins are going to improve their FG% and their FT% and run away with this game.

- Me, last night

They didn't do it with guard play as I predicted. They did it with their typical smothering defense, much improved offense and domination in the low blocks. That's right, they dominated "Big Baby" and Tyrus "Lottery" Thomas from the opening tap and never let up.

UCLA put on a clinic last night. Thomas was a total non-factor. "Big Baby" Davis played like a fat boy amongst world class athletes. At one point in the game, when LSU was down about 20 (that narrows it down), he was watching the jumbotron prior to a free throw, spotted himself and smiled. Who does this as his team is getting embarrassed in the National Semifinal? I would prefer he cried like Redick and Morrison. At least they cared.

Prior to the game I told my wife that "Big Baby" looked scared. They showed him a few different times and he looked like he was about to be led to the gallows. Turns out he was.

LSU was lucky to be in this game. They should have lost to Texas A&M. They won on the last second shot, then went on to beat Duke and Texas to become the favorite in the National Semifinal. I won't take anything away from them in those two victories, but let's remember UCLA didn't waltz in here by beating the sister's of the poor. No mention of that all week. Why? I have theories but that will wait until next season. Something about Duke and Texas being on ESPN all the time.

Anyway, what everyone conveniently forgot, and Dick Vitale apparently remembered after the game, was that defense wins championships. Keep in mind Dickie V picked LSU in this game, forgetting UCLA's defensive dominance of his buddy Caliapari's team only 6 days earlier. Or their frenetic 3 minutes of dominance at the end of the Gonzaga game where they held Gonzaga scoreless. They have been doing this all year. Nobody should be surprised.

UCLA plays defense. What is not to be forgotten is they can score too. They have talent top to bottom. They have the last 2 Pac-10 Rookies of the Year. They have 3 McDonald's All-Americans. They can play 10 guys and not really miss a beat. Everyone on that team has 1 thing in common - they buy into Howland's system and execute it to perfection. They all know their role and embrace it.

Alas, all anybody could talk about all week was how LSU was the team to beat. How LSU was stacked with future NBA players who were just too good to stop. That is true in theory, but this "ugly" team from the "weak" Pac-10 Conference showed the nation that team play and team defense is better than a roster full of future NBA players. Ask Jim Calhoun. I bet he agrees.

Finally, we complain all the time about how nobody plays defense. Watch the NBA. It's non-existent. UCLA is winning through tough play, good defense and timely offense. Why are all these columnists so down on the Bruins and their style of play? Do teams have to score 80 points per game and play no defense? You really can't have your cake and eat it to.

A look back and The "Man" and the "Not Man" of last night's game. Nothing earth-shattering here...

The Man
Mbah A Moute - Best post player in the game by a long shot. Heck, he was the best player on the court. He was too quick, too strong , too good for anybody on LSU to handle on either end. He is incredibly smart and sound player. I hate that he doesn't play for Arizona and hate that we'll have to play him 2-3 times next year.

Not The Man
Tie/Glen Davis and Tyrus Thomas - They should be ashamed they didn't bother to show up. They will both leave early and LSU will not make the tourney next year. This was their chance and they phoned it in. Davis was a bit worse because he did play and was a total non-factor and didn't seem to care. He shoved Collision on a drive to the hoop with about 2 minutes to play to mercifully foul out.

What the columnists aren't saying but Packer and Nantz mentioned a bit last night. Big Baby is out of shape. You can't play at a high level when you are out of shape. Fat guys who have skill are a cute story, but when you play high caliber athletes like UCLA has your lack of conditioning will be exploited. Kudos to Howland for exposing Davis and his lack of conditioning.

X-Factor
Lorenzo Mata - If you watched the game you know this is true. He did nothing but come in and give GREAT energy, grab boards, block shots, draw fouls and generally get into the heads of the overmatched "Bayou Bengals". He did the dirty work and was a big reason the Bruins were able to dominate.

Final Prediction
UCLA 60
Florida 50

12th National Championship going to Westwood.

Winning Ugly

The experts have spoken. The basketball gurus at CNNSI.com and ESPN.com overwhelming have LSU taking it to the ugly UCLA Bruins.

CNNSI
Gennaro Filice - LSU
Seth Davis - LSU

ESPN
Andy Katz - LSU
Pat Forde - UCLA
Jay Bilas - LSU
Fran Fraschilla - LSU
Doug Gottlieb - LSU
Dick Vitale - LSU
Howie Schwab - UCLA

Here is my take. I have seen UCLA play at least 15 times this season. Probably 10 more times than anybody listed above. They are a very good team. A very well coached team. They have not played well offensively since the Belmont game in the first round and there they are, 2 wins from a National Championship. That to me is a feat since typically if you don't play well in the tourney you go home.

On the flip side LSU has played amazing basketball to reach the Final Four. To their credit they have turned up their game at the right time. They too are a good team.

I find it hard to believe that UCLA will play ANOTHER bad game offensively. If they play decent offensively the only game they played that MIGHT have been close was the Gonzaga game.

Seth Davis made a point that for UCLA to win they need their far superior guard combo of Farmar, Affalo and Collision to play well. They have been playing well defensively and have shown flashes offensively, but I think today is the day they put it together and have a complete game. They are too good not to.

I predict right here, on my blog that nobody reads, the Bruins are going to improve their FG% and their FT% and run away with this game.

UCLA - 70
LSU - 58

We'll see what happens...

My Life-Long Friend and Downfall - The Idiot Box Part 1

I have always had a very good relationship with the television. She has always been there for me in good times and bad. She never passes judgement. She never complains. She just sits there and entertains me. She is the perfect friend.

It started with shows like "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood", "Emergency", "The Incredible Hulk", "BJ and the Bear" and of course "CHiPs". Shows like these began my life long love affair with the TV. What's more than that are 5 events that forever redefined and changed TV for not only me, but I am sure millions of other television afficiandos like myself.

Event 1

My relationship with the TV was in it's early stages when the geniuses at Scientific Atlanta (a division of Cisco) went ahead and turned the world on its ear. Well, maybe not the entire world but mine at least. I can't pinpoint the exact day or sequence of events, but because I have a flair for the dramatic I am going to guess. Maybe fabricate is a better word, however the gist of the story remains actual and factual.

There was a brisk air blowing through the small town of Gilroy, California. It began like any other autumn day . I woke up, ate a hearty breakfast then jumped in the carpool for the short jaunt to St. Mary School for another ho-hum day of elementary school in the 4th grade class of one Carol Figone. We were learning our times tables. What came next is the origin of why to this day I possess remedial math schools.

By the time school ended that day the winds had stopped blowing. What began as a cold and uncomfortable day had turned into a still and temperant afternoon. I couldn't wait to get home and head outside for some afternoon shenanigans. Maybe I could round up a game of baseball at the park? Who knew. The world was my oyster this day, though I had no idea what was waiting for me in the living room.

When I got home the cable guy was there and with him was a light brown box he was hooking up to the TV. It was no bigger than my math text book I was supposed to be looking at in order to master my "times tables". But it was what this little brown box could do and what my math books couldn't what changed my life.

Turns out this box was a "cable box". Until that day we only received channels 2-13 on both our black and white TV in the family room and the 19 inch color TV in the living room. This little brown box received channels 2-36 including HBO and MTV!

(Editor's note: HBO was where I saw my first, ahem, jiggly lady parts while watching Purple Rain with my cousin Gerry. MTV is where I love my ability to focus for more than 3 minutes at a time. Stupid music videos)

However, looking back now, all was not as rosy as it seemed. It was that day that my career as an engineer, doctor or mathmatician died. For I did not work on my times tables that afternoon or any afternoon following. I also learned I couldn't read. All because of Scientific Atlanta and their fancy "little brown box." That part about me not being able to read is a lie.

Stay Tuned for Part 2...

The Start of Something....Interesting?

Mission Statement: I like to write. I always have. I take great pride in my ability to put pen to paper and articulate what's on my mind. I enjoy reading other people's thoughts and opinions. The thing I have found is that often I disagree with these opinions or go away with more questions than answers. I decided instead of persistently clogging my friends inbox with emails about these things I would start my own blog instead.

Apparently these blogs are quite popular. Who knew? Anyway, I am putting it all out there for anybody or nobody to see. I don't expect anybody to read this (other than my proud mother, my brother who listens quite well, and my wife who is sick of me telling her about the story I read on the internet or complaining about the fella on ESPN who yells because he has nothing relevant or interesting to say). Who knows, you may learn more about my family as this blog evolves.

One of my college journalism professors said I have a "flowery writing style". To this day I am not sure what that meant, or if it was good or bad, but what I do know is that I will either prove or disprove that on this blog. In the meantime I hope that some enjoyment is attained through reading my blog. That enjoyment can be either of the "he's funny and interesting" variety, or the "this dude is retarded and is all that is wrong with the internet" variety. Enjoyment is enjoyment. So, uh, enjoy "The Sound of My Own Voice". I know I do.

PS: In spellchecking this entry I discoved that the blogger.com spellchecker doesn't recognize "blog" as a word. Ironic, don't ya think?